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03/05/2021 07:01 PM
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The Origin Story...
Bullying never happened like it did in the movies.
That's what Juno had always thought, anyway. Any time his mother turned on an American highschool movie, he couldn't help but stop watching and try to ignore the ignorance occurring on-screen. More often than not, it felt like someone who had never been bullied before in their life trying to re-enact what they had once seen when passing a fight in the halls. They rarely ever performed in such public displays, why would they? If they were to bully others in broad daylight then the few teachers who really cared would be able to see and take action.
No. It never happened like that. All the worst cases happened out of sight of others. In the alley behind the school, quiet hallways, bathrooms, on the walk to and from school...
It was those places that Juno feared most, and he should have known better than to keep using that same route.
Funny the thoughts you'd have when running for your very life.
"Get back here f***-face!" "Gonna snap those f***ing glasses in HALF."
Even in middleschool, Juno sometimes wondered where they had learned that kind of language. True, they were a couple years older than him in their last year of junior high, but still. Television, he assumed while ducking under a parking barrier and breaking into a full-on sprint. Ritchie and the Wolf Pack were hot on his trail. They were much bigger and stronger than he was, he knew already from the sounds that the stones made when they wizzed past his head and landed on the sidewalk or broke against the brick walls. It was enough to send a kid like him into a full-blown panic attack -- but not yet. He couldn't stop. If he stopped running for even one second, it would be over. He would be a dead man.
The worst part was, that this was all just a game to them. They howled and barked with laughter, calling out insults he wouldn't even understand the meaning of until several years later. A pit formed deep in his stomach and an icy dread ran through his veins. He should have learned his lesson... They had even said 'If we see you here again, you're gonna wish you ain't never been born.' But what else was he supposed to do? This was the fastest route to and from school, his dad timed it. If Ibrahim didn't get that text right on time, then he'd get mad and start to ask questions. And if he knew about Ritchie and the Wolf Pack...
Even at eleven he didn't think he could stand another 'be a man' talk.
No, he thought hopelessly, his ankle twisting slightly under him but he kept on running. Not again. I can't lose another set of glasses...
That would make for four pairs since the beginning of the school year. His mom was kind enough to believe the first three lies he had told her about his broken frames, but a fourth? No. She was smart enough to put the odds together and figure it out -- if she hadn't already.
"Where you going you, eh? Think you can really outrun ME?" That came from Ritchie. The biggest and meanest of the whole crew. He had a twisted mindset, and once some poor kid fell under his gaze as his next victim, everyone else avoided them too. Any friends or defenders of the 'prey' were next in line for an ass-whooping, and no one else dared to stand up to the Wolf Pack. This was his first time being targeted by Ritchie specifically, mostly he had just had run-ins with others and managed to fly under Ritchie's radar. But not today. They had a knack for picking on kids who were younger than them, and the weirder they were, the higher they were on the list.
The worst part was that Juno had just been a completely normal kid up until recently. One could usually avoid the Wolf Pack as long as they weren't very pretty or very ugly, or very heavy or very skinny, or very smart or very dumb. As long as they kept to themselves and weren't foolish enough to raise their hands when the teachers asked 'Who can name all fifty states?' then the coast was usually clear. They had 'minions' everywhere, and those were nearly impossible to spot. Juno always kept to himself and minded his own business. It wasn't until one of these little rats found out about his robotics hobby that things took a turn for the worst.
He really didn't stand a chance against them.
Juno turned a corner and was out of their sights for just long enough to make another turn down an alley and try to shake them off his trail. Maybe, just maybe, if he lost them for long enough they'd give up and go home. They couldn't follow him forever, right? It was getting late, surely they had places to be...?
Maybe if he ducked behind these bushes and made a run for it, cutting across the backwoods and beelining for his neighborhood, then he would avoid them and get home safely. A little late, perhaps, but safely nonetheless.
It was a nice thought.
Juno felt the blow before he saw it. His head was turned to look behind him, so he didn't notice Buford blocking his path. His fist collided deeply into Juno's gut, knocking the glasses off of him as he doubled over and lost all sense within moments. He crossed his arms over his middle and howled in pain, tears stinging his eyes immediately. The dread took little time to form a pit in his stomach.
Juno lifted his head and met Buford's eyes, pleading silently with the large boy before him. But it wasn't of any use. "Ay, Ritchie! He's over here, caught 'im trying to sneak by!" Juno heard him yell. Buford's hand had ahold of Juno so he couldn't run off despite his best efforts. He tried to duck and squirm out of reach, thinking that maybe his smaller frame would give him an edge in speed if he could slip his shirt off and make a run for it, but he didn't get a chance.
Ritchie's cold, cruel laugh cut through the woods, echoing inside of Juno's head. He panicked and tried to kick Buford, swinging at every part of his body that he could reach, but it was pointless. Ritchie and Andre closed in, and it was pointless to even try and run.
The more one struggled, the worse the outcome. A lesson Juno learned the hard way.
It was nearly an hour past the time he usually returned whenever Juno managed to arrive home. The front door was open, only the screen door seperating them so they would be able to see when he walked up the steps. Juno was in shambles. He likely wouldn't have stood a chance in even one-to-one combat, but three-to-one? Even just walking took up every ounce of energy he had. One eye was swollen nearly shut, he couldn't stand up straight and the ankle he had rolled over earlier now felt like maybe the injury was worse than he had previously thought. His glasses were gone. Just like Andre had said he'd do, he snapped them in half. But not before getting a good amount of mockery out of them.
Everything hurt. But the thing that hurt the most was that he just didn't have an answer as to 'why?' He hadn't done anything wrong... Why him? He was just a normal kid...
Juno stood in front of the house for a long moment, dreading what would happen when he came to the door. He didn't want to see his mother's worry, he didn't want to hear his father shouting, he didn't want them to aruge, he didn't want any of that...
As soon as hid foot landed on the first step leading to the porch -- he had mangaed to get past the gate without making a noise -- Mariko appeared immediately in the doorway. Juno lifted his head to look at her, opening his mouth and trying to blurt out the practiced excuse he had thought up along the way, but he didn't get the chance. She screamed and fled out the door towards him, falling down to her knees as she took him by the shoulders and stared. He must have been a horrid sight, if her expression was anything to go off of.
He heard her speaking to him, but her voice seemed echoed and far away, he couldn't make it out. "M...Mom ..." Was all he had managed to say, before falling into her arms. It hurt to stand. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to know the pain he must be causing her, to see her one and only child like this. But he couldn't do anything about it. She, however, could.
Running him inside, she wasted no time finding everything she could to fix him up. She may have retired from the medical field a long while ago, but some things always stuck. She had just never imagined she would be using these methods on her own son.
----
"Did you hear about Juno?"
"Ritchie and the Wolf Pack got him."
"No way! Really? But he's so normal."
"Apparently he's actually, like, really smart. A teacher offered him extra credit for helping Nina when he finished early, so they looked into it. He's super-smart."
"I heard that one of his ribs got broken."
"I heard he lost an eye!"
"No, he didn't lose an eye, you dummy. Ritchie wouldn't do something so obvious."
Echoes followed him everywhere he went. It was a week before he had been allowed to return to school, and in that time a lot had happened. His mother met with the council -- despite him begging her not to -- and tried to get the boys who had done it expelled. She had always been a respected woman, but it seemed there was nothing they could do. Since it happened off of school-grounds and there wasn't sufficient evidence, they couldn't just throw the boys out. She didn't take that well.
But there wasn't anything they could do.
Juno hated the extra attention. They were all staring... Why couldn't they just mind their own business??
"Hi, Olin." Juno muttered, opening his locker up and looking to his left. Olin was one of his closest friends, they went way back. And right now, he could use a little distraction from everyone else in the world who was prying at him. "I heard that Lily joined the track team. Her coordination sucks, we should go watch her and see if she falls on her face again."
Juno looked to his left, expecting to see the blonde laughing and agree with him. Olin had always had a crush on Lily, so he leapt at any chance to tease her. But Olin wasn't smiling. He was just staring at Juno. "Ah, I know, I look pretty bad, huh?" Juno tried to laugh, assuming his appearance was the cause of the tension, "Andre clocked me across the face and--."
"What are you doing?"
Juno blinked. He didn't understand. "...What? What do you mean...?"
"Why are you talking to me?"
"B... Because we're friends?" He didn't know why, but Juno felt a pit starting to form in his stomach, like it always did when something bad was about to happen. "We... We're friends, Olin."
But Olin didn't seem to agree. He stiffened and his head darted back and forth to see if anyone around them had heard what Juno had just said. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he leaned forward and hissed, "Are you crazy?? I don't want what happened to you to happen to me! Once Ritchie and the Wolf Pack narrow in on somebody, everyone around them becomes prey!"
"B... But, I--."
"No! Juno! We can't. I'm sorry but I just -- I can't be seen with you right now."
"Wh-What do you mean?? But we always--."
"No. I'm sorry Juno, I really am. But I can't risk that! I'm going to join the soccer team, and I can't do well if I have to be out for a week because I got beat up for being friends with you." Olin shut his locker quickly, doing another survey to see if anyone was listening. "Just for right now. After this all blows over we can be friends again, okay?"
"B-But Olin--."
"NO, Juno." Olin hissed, taking a step back as he started to walk away. "Don't talk to me."
Juno just stood there, stunned. He felt heat rising up to his face and looked down at his feet, a new feeling he couldn't quite place spreading through him. He wanted to cry, but he didn't. Big kids don't cry.
He went to classes and remained quiet. He didn't look at anyone, didn't talk to anyone, just kept his head down and scribbled inside of his notebook. Olin sucked, that much was clear. Maybe it was just a phase and he'd come back around by the time lunch came by.
The bells rang and finally it was time for lunch. Sure, Olin was being stupid, but Olin wasn't his only friend. He'd sit with everyone else at lunch, tell them what happened, and they'd all tease Olin and tell him he was being paranoid and stupid and they'd quickly move on from this whole ordeal and it'd be business as usual.
If only it had been that way...
Ignoring the stares and whispers that passed him by, Juno got his tray of food and hummed quietly to himself as he made way to their table. "Mornin' guys!" He'd announce cheerily, setting his tray on the edge of the table as he waited for them to greet him back like they always did, every morning. "Did'ja miss me?"
But no one responded. Juno blinked and looked around the table, worried for a moment that he had walked up to the wrong one. But no. It was the right table. They all just looked at him, mirroring a similar look that Olin had worn earlier that morning. There was that pit again...
"Good morning, Juno..." That came from Lily, so softly he almost didn't hear it. Juno blinked and looked around at them all, feeling ice start to fill his veins. He tried to meet their eyes, but they all turned away.
"G...Guys?" He tried again, trying to force a smile on his wavering face. "Don't tell me Olin got to you guys too? He's being kind of weird today, I think something might be wr--."
"No, it isn't Olin." Someone else finally spoke. It was Tyler, and he looked stern. Juno started to speak again, but Tyler stopped him. "Juno, come on man! What do you want us to say? You... You know how this works."
Juno couldn't believe it. His breath stopped and he just stared at them all, unsure what to say in response. This... This wasn't happening. It wasn't -his- fault! Why were they looking at him like that? He didn't make this happen on purpose. "G-Guys, I..."
"Look, just get lost, okay? Don't put the girls in danger like this! It'll blow over eventually, just, not right now."
Juno tried to say something, but couldn't seem to come up with any good conversation topics. He reached out and tried to calm them down and convince them that is was okay, nothing was wrong, but it was of no use. And before he could stop it, they were getting up from their seats. This couldn't be happening... They were leaving, too...?
One by one they all got up and left. Lily was the last one. She stood up and turned towards him, taking a deep breath as she built up the confidence to speak. She looked remorseful and, for a moment, Juno thought that she might say 'forget it' and sit back down to stay with him. But it seemed she lost her nerve. She closed her mouth, looked down at the ground and walked away, dark pigtails swinging regretfully behind her.
He didn't move for the longest time. His tray of food, which he had once been starving for earlier in the day, turned bitter. His mouth went dry and the thought of eating made him feel like throwing up. He pressed his lips together and stared down at the contents of the tray and it's poor excuse of food, his vision blurring suddenly behind the new set of glasses. Moments later, he left the cafeteria and wound up in the fourth floor bathroom.
There was no reason for it to hurt as much as it did. He would easily take one hundred more of Ritchie and the Wolf Gang's beatings if it meant that he would never again in his life experience what had just happened. The bathroom on the fourth floor was never occupied, and that was where Juno spent fourth hour, wallowing in the fresh feeling of abandonment that pulsed through him. This wasn't how today was supposed to go, not at all. He was supposed to come back and they were supposed to cheer for his return. He'd sit down with them all and joke about what had happened, giving his version of events before they moved on from it all forever. Not this... Whatever 'this' was. 'This' hurt so much worse than anything else he had ever experienced before.
His attendence dropped. His social life came to a halt. He didn't want to go to class anymore, not when that meant he would have to look at his ex-friends and wonder what he had done wrong. It was a rinse and repeat pattern for the following years. He didn't go to class yet still earned A's, but the teachers were worried about his attendence and called his parents with their concerns. He would be chased or mocked or punched on his way home, where his dad would yell and lecture him about appearances and consequences and how he needed to 'stand up for himself.' His mother tried to lessen Ibrahim's influence, but it was of no real use.
By the time he was getting ready for highschool, the bullying became so bad that Juno wouldn't even bother to show up at all. He spent all his time locked away in his room, ignoring everyone and everything. He spoke to no one, had no friends, and rarely came out of his room to even talk to his parents. It wasn't worth it anymore when he knew that any time he showed his face it would just be Ibrahim yelling at him and calling him names. Standing up to others wasn't as easy as he always made it sound. It was clear Ibrahim had never once been bullied like this in his life. If Juno had tried to follow that advice, he already knew the consequences would be tripled. But that didn't matter. He was content where he was. That bright, social boy that only got picked on every once in a while had faded away, and in his place was a quiet, reclusive boy who never spoke unless he felt he had something meaningful to say. After being shushed so much and told his words didn't matter, it kind of took the will to talk out of him.
That didn't change the guilt he felt when he heard the news though. They were moving, and it was all because of him. Mariko had tried to divert it and say it was her dream to live in a more lively city-area with skyscrapers and taxis, but Ibrahim made sure to make the truth known. They were moving because Juno 'wasn't strong enough to make a man of himself.'
"Ibrahim, please, he's just a child!"
"Children -must- learn. Maybe if you didn't coddle him so much, he would actually be of use to society."
Mariko had to find a new bakery to work at, and Ibrahim left his drinking buddies behind when he had to relocate to a new base. It was Juno's fault they had to move. Maybe if he had just been selfish and never helped that girl with her homework, then none of this would have ever happened. It was his fault they were moving. And, though he'd never say it outloud, it was his fault his parents were having problems, too.
That, of course, was ridiculous. But it seemed true enough at the time. They'd had problems before all of this, but it seemed that Juno's nature was the most popular subject for their quarrels. Before long, even those stopped. They simply didn't speak to each other anymore. And that was arguably even worse.
Juno didn't know what to expect from his new highschool. It was a new city, a new environment. Did this place have it's own Ritchie and the Wolf Pack? All in all, he didn't have high hopes for what he was going into. But Juno made a promise to his mother that he would attend every single one of his classes in the first month, and then decide from there. So, the first week came.
First impression? Weird. The environment was completely different. Random people talked to him, the teachers were nicer, the school itself felt cleaner. Juno couldn't tell if all those things were actually true, or if they only seemed true because the burden of the past wasn't looming over him in the eyes of everyone he encountered. It was nice.
He was still reclusive and tended to run when other people approached him, but they weren't nearly as rude as the kids in his old school had been. The girl who had the locker next to his greeted him every morning, the courses were challenging enough, and all in all it seemed to be a vast improvement. He was even allowed to bring his bots into class and work on them, as long as he was subtle and wasn't being distracting.
But beyond all of that, one student really stood out from the crowd. Juno didn't know his name at first, but something about him just commanded attention in a way that no one else did. The moment he walked into a room, everyone else was paying attention. It was so admirable...
"Hey, Shiro, wait up!"
So that was his name. For some unknown reason, he really liked Shiro. The guy was charismatic and friendly, a little loud at times because of his friends, but he could forgive that. Everyone liked him because he didn't discriminate when people approached him. Juno wished he could be like that.
Any time Shiro entered the room, Juno bowed his head and kept on working. No point in drawing attention to himself, there was no way he'd want anything to do with someone like him. No, if he got attached to anyone -- not just Shiro, but anyone else -- it would just end up as a repeat of the incident several years ago. He was a bully-magnent through and through, and others didn't want to be associated with someone like that.
Still. Every once in a while, Juno thought he saw Shiro looking at him. Watching him study or work on his bots, seeming almost like he wanted to walk up and say hello. Was... Was he imagining that? Surely he was. If Shiro wanted to say something, he would have just said it, right? He didn't need permission to speak, certainly not from the weird, quiet kid in the back of the class.
But... still. There were exchanges. Brief words, passing nods of recognition, even moments when it almost seemed like Shiro went out of his way to just pass him by. Maybe he was imagining it all, but it still felt nice. Too bad Shiro was a senior, maybe they could have been great friends if Juno had ever worked up the confidence to say something to him. The jock and the nerd, an amusing friendship to say the least. At least, in Juno's eyes. It was a shame they wouldn't see each other any more after he graduated, maybe he should have said something and gotten up the nerve to just let him know how much he was appreciated. Shiro's smile was like a beacon in the dark times, the warmth never stopped.
Maybe he should try to be like that...
Easier said than done. Juno wasn't popular enough to pull off the kind of energy Shiro had about him, but he could be kind to the ones around him. The girl at his locker, Maria, was one person he tried to be pleasant towards. She seemed to appreciate it, and he quickly found that she was around a lot more. Sitting next to him at lunch when he was usually by himself, seeking him out for projects. It was a nice friendship.
Or, so he had thought.
History liked to repeat itself, and in his highschool years Juno found a very different, yet highly similar situation befell him. Maria was a nice girl, but he just didn't like her like that. What was so wrong with that? Apparently a lot, judging by how people exploded and disproportinalized the situation afterwards. He wasn't a freak, he just didn't want to pursue her. It wasn't that weird...
"Hey Juno, do you want to be a girl? I mean, you already have the name of one. Want me to help you out?"
"Sh-Shut up Roland. You're failing anatomy, you wouldn't even know where to begin." Juno was convinced that some guys were the absolute worst thing in the world. Especially straight, white, frat boys from rich families. Usually he could dodge under the radar as he typically wasn't that interesting. But his name did cause some what of an uproar, given the movie most people thought of when they heard it. Even though he wasn't even named after the movie and rather the constellation -- but then again Juno had also been a goddess of legend in english-speaking countries.
He tried not to blame his mother, she really hadn't known any better. Where she was raised, names ending in 'O's were usually unisex. But that didn't matter. When he wasn't being made fun of for it, he actually really liked his name. Everyone else be damned.
"Wanna have a baby with me?" Roland was annoyingly persistent with his stupid harrassment. "I mean, you turned down that hot chick, so surely you're gay, right? I mean, there can't be any other reason for something like that."
"You are quite honestly the m-most disgusting person ever." Juno wasn't as timid as he used to be. He was generally quiet unless spoken to, but he wouldn't just sit there and take the abuse. Not anymore. "Y-You're a highschool-has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant."
Roland didn't like that. But Juno didn't mind, the bruises and black eyes were kind of a signature look for him by now.
Highschool ended in a very similar note to juniorhigh. But this time it was worse. The only good parent he'd had supporting him was fighting her own battles and the one remaining likely wanted to skin him alive for what he had done when leaving the house. But at least he got his GED.
The following college experience was unlike anything Juno had ever thought was possible for himself. The moment he had seen Shiro, just sitting there across from him, Juno knew things would never be the same. He wouldn't let it be. It threw him for a loop, naturally, but he wasn't hit with that usual urge to run away and hide like he usually did when someone new started talking to him. Maybe it was because Shiro wasn't new, that he was familiar with that face and that voice, the tender look in his eyes that he got when he was trying to figure out a situation.
So many times before, Juno had wished he had befriended Shiro. In his head, that's all it was. A heavy pull of fascination at someone he wanted so badly to be friends with. It wasn't until a few weeks later that he realized that wasn't what this was at all. That 'friendship' he had wanted? He had never felt that way towards anyone else before in his entire life. Those feelings ran so, so much deeper than that, and it only took a few more days for him to come to the realization that he had a crush on the man.
And that absolutely terrified him. All his friendships before this had crashed and burned, and now a romantic interest?? Oh no. That couldn't go over well. What if it ended badly? What if Shiro laughed at him? Or, worst of all, what if they managed to get into a relationship, fall in love, and then get forced apart by some inciting incident that left him alone in the end? Alone again... What if this wound up only pushing him further into reclusion?
...No. No, Shiro wasn't like that. He wasn't going to just up and leave one day, and he wasn't going to laugh in his face. Shiro wasn't like that. He was strong, confident, generous, kind, and a complete dork as Juno would quickly learn. He was funny, witty, caring and selfless. He was patient, tolerant, and, most importantly, it seemed this crush wasn't one-sided.
Shiro liked him, too. Shiro really, genuinely, liked him, too.
The next months were heaven on Earth. Juno was frightened the entire time, worrying that one day Shiro would just wake up and realize he didn't love him anymore, then leave. That someone would talk to Shiro and warn him about some unknown secret Juno had -- did he have any? -- and Shiro would become disgusted and leave, just like everyone else did. But that never happened.
And Juno was happy enough to become complacent.
It was unfortunate to have ended the way it did. It wasn't Shiro's doing, and that much brought him comfort. Indeed, there was nothing Shiro could have done to avoid what had happened between them both. Those thoughts kept Juno going, when the lies kept trying to invade his brain and make him give up hope. He held on to all the little things, they kept him from giving in to that despair they had so desperately tried to jam into his brain.
Before long, those memories became an echo inside of a shell of what used to be. He could recall them in his memory, but that memory seemed to be warped now, as if that year was a threat to his well-being. Try as hard as he might to hold on to the warmth of that time, but it seemed that history was constantly repeating itself.
"You asked him not to leave, but he did. Don't you see that?" The voice of Dr. Cote was becoming annoying. Even in such a threatening situation, all Juno wanted to do was lock out that voice, so bent on repeating the same five phrases over and over again. "He abandonded you. He doesn't want you anymore, just like your little friends don't want you anymore either. You were a burden to him, but not to us."
Bullsh*t. Shiro wasn't like anyone else. He never had been, and never would be -- he knew that now. But at the time, it all seemed so real. Maybe it was the drugs, or the repetition, or the shocks, but he did genuinely believe it. Shiro had left...
When he saw them again, all that time later, a war went on inside of his mind. A massive muddle of memories both real and fake fighting for the limelight. A part of him, buried so deep past the surface, wanted to just leap forward and embrace Shiro and never, ever let go. But the terror stopped him from doing so. The terror not even for himself, but also for Shiro. If he was found here, if they were caught together... It wouldn't be just Juno facing the consequences. If, by some chance, they got caught, Shiro would suffer too.
Those thoughts were what plagued his thoughts when he was left alone in the complex now. Shiro was strong, both physically and mentally. But would he be able to handle such turmoil that those people were capable of? If he was given the choice, if he really knew what they were and every detail, would he stay put? A part of Juno hoped that he would, but another part grew increasingly anxious that he wouldn't. He had already put so much at risk, but what about his mental stability? He had a family to look after now, after all.
I also want it. To be with you. I’ll wait as long as you want me to if it means we’ll get to be together again… like before.
... They had to do this. It wasn't just a matter of escaping Ibrahim anymore. He wasn't just going to run away and live his life in the shadows. No. He was going to take that entire corporation down. He wasn't the only victim anymore, and he wasn't going to sit idly by and risk other peoples livelihoods by keeping his mouth shut. He had a platform, he had a name. So he was going to use it.
How, exactly, he had no idea. And in a way, destroying the corporation also meant destroying himself. But as far as he could see, Shiro would not be safe until they were obliterated. Not Shiro, not Momo, not Arisa, and not Risako or François. This didn't concern just the two of them anymore, but Juno was sure that he would be the one to end it as soon as possible. For Shiro's sake. For the one person who never, in his whole life, never gave up on him.
"You should have known better, Juno." The voice echoed in the large room. It was quiet, dark, and gave off the feeling that something bad was about to happen. The pit formed in Juno's stomach once more and he paced nervously, looking around for the source. He didn't get far, the room was only so big at no more than six-foot by six-foot. Whoever was speaking wasn't inside the room. "We'll always find you. There's no escape. You can't outrun us, not you or your little boyfriend. And no, he isn't independent of this either, not anymore. Someone has to pay for what you've done."
Juno pounded at the walls, opening his mouth to scream and yell for help. But nobody came. "You've done a lot of damage, but that's okay. What has been torn to shreds can be put back together again. Maybe you just need some proper motivation." Following the voice was a haunting sound, one that torrmented Juno's waking moments as well as his sleeping ones. It wouldn't be easy to recognize to anyone who was unfamiliar, but Juno knew it well. That electric buzz was still engrained in his brain.
Juno gasped, sitting straight up in the bed as the dream quickly faded from his mind. The dark room scared him at first, the worries that it was real winding Juno up into frenzy as he nearly leapt out of the bed and ran to find an exit. But a shift in the bed beside him cut through it all. Shiro had felt it and woken up as well, his hand landing on Juno's shoulder ever so delicately to bring him back down from the terrors that gripped his heart. He jumped at first, looking over to figure beside him in the dark and staring wide-eyed. His heart was racing inside of his chest, but the rate started to slow carefully, reality coming back to him.
A dream. It... It was just a dream... Shiro spoke his comforts and any remaining grips on the dream vanished. "N-No, I'm sorry. I'm okay." He sighed softly bringing one hand up to rest his forehead. "Go b-back to sleep, it's okay. I'm okay." But it seemed Shiro knew him better than he knew himself, and soon the inventor felt those arms folding around him once again, pulling him close and enveloping him in their warmth.
Nothing in the world could compare to this. They'd had their struggles and their hardships, their ups and downs, fought their seemingly never-ending battles. But this was all worth it. There wasn't anyone else in the world that held a candle to Shiro. Because despite it all, all the good things and the bad things, Shiro came back. He was here. He was steady. Had he ever even really left in the first place?
He loved Shiro. And that's all there was to it. Nothing in the world -- not Ibrahim, not the Americans, not the Portuguese, nothing -- would ever, ever take that away from him.
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01/13/2021 03:57 PM
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Guidelines, I guess.
Many of you are probabaly wondering why I gathered you here today. Well, it's pretty simple. If you're actually taking the time to read this, then you probably aren't the problem. But, to keep things civil I'll keep it simple. Some people have gotten very disrespectful regarding my character recently, so we are going to go over a list of what I am allowed to do, and what you are not allowed to do.
What I am allowed to do:
1. I am allowed to write and not write with anyone that I so please.
2. I am allowed to have romance, or not have romance with anyone I please.
3. I am allowed to alter my character from story to story for different experiences.
4. I am allowed to alter his role in a relationship. This is a big one. Because of edits I have made recently it seems that the nature of Juno has already been decided for him by the masses. Despite popular belief, he is bi-sexual and he is a switch. His role in a story varies depending on who he is with. Most of you have not seen him in romantic situations. Believe it or not, he can take the initiative.
What you are not allowed to do:
1. You are not allowed to tell me the role my character will play in the story.
2. You are not allowed to tell me who I can and who I can not write with.
3. You are not allowed to tell me how he will speak or the mannerisms he will or will not use. I know the stutter can be distracting at times, but please understand that it is a very important part of Juno.
4. You are NOT allowed to message one of rp partners and curse them out just because I have a romance story with them.
With all of this said, I just want to be clear with my current partners that if I have not raised any of these concerns with you, then you have nothing to worry about. I have no problem with stating my discomforts.
And one last thing.
Ladies, please hear what I am about to say. It is okay to enjoy Yaoi and BL and all that stuff, but please do not fetishize a sexual orientation. I recieved a couple messages after one of my edits from a woman sexualizing what was supposed to be a sentimental post. It would never be okay for a guy to message something like that to a girl, so please don't think it is okay for a girl to message something like that to a guy.
Okay. If you made it this far, then thank you ♥ I know it's a little out of the blue and uncharacteristic, but these are things I have been dealing with for some time and have started to get on my nerves.
Thank you for your time ♥
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12/31/2020 01:08 PM
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This thing called Love...
Age 9:
"Why did you marry him?"
The words left Juno's lips before he could stop them, Mariko finding pause in her baking to tilt her head up and stare at her child.
"What?" She laughed, a single brow popping upwards as she tried to understand the question. "What do you mean?"
Juno knew he shouldn't push it, should just keep quiet. But his curiosity was too much. "I mean Dad! Why did you marry him? He's so mean..."
"Oh, Juno. He's not that mean." Mariko would say, shaking her head and turning her attention to the dough stretched across the table. Dark strands of hair fell from her high bun, curving around her pale face in a perfect frame. Above her left eye was a small, fresh scar she claimed she had gotten when she ran into an open cabinet door, but Juno didn't believe that. As clumsy as his mother was, she didn't usually maim herself in her mistakes.
He didn't respond, just frowning as he stared at her and her unsatisfying answer. A long silence followed, Juno pouting the whole time, before his mother finally huffed and shook her head.
"We were young." Juno sat up in his seat, staring wide-eyed now with his hands folded ever so patiently in his lap. "So, so young." A small, sad smile graced her lips, her delicate hands slowing in the motion of kneading the dough while her mind fetched some far-forgotten memory. "I thought I had found the love of my life. Before him, I was with this nasty boy. You remember, I told you about him? Taka?" Juno nodded quickly, making a face to show his recollection. "Just awful. He would call me names, make fun of me, pressure me to do things I didn't want to--."
"What kind of things?" Juno's brows furrowed in worry.
"Oh, don't you worry about that now." Mariko laughed, reaching out to tuck a strand of stubborn hair behind her son's ear. "You'll understand when you're older." Juno pouted. He hated hearing that excuse. But he kept quiet anyway and let her go on. She paused a moment, then continued. "He was just bad. And I wanted out. We had gotten married, so escaping him wasn't that easy, but I ran away. I packed up only the things I could carry and I ran as far away as I could. And that's what lead me here."
Juno squirmed in his seat. He had already heard this story before, he wanted the answer to his question!
"We got divorced long-distance. It was a great pain for me, coming here all alone. I left my family behind, my friends. I ran away from them all because I was frightened of what he would do to me if he ever found me." Mariko sighed and folded the dough, placing it off to the side to proof. She crossed around the table and knelt down in front of Juno, taking one of his hands in her own. "I was scared, Juno. I had my passport, but could easily be sent back hoome at a moments notice, and I couldn't have that."
She smiled and met his gaze, reaching a hand out to carress his chubby cheeks, still plump with babyfat. "I met your father shortly after that. Ibrahim." Her eyes twinkled with the memory. "Strong, large, strapping young man. He was so charming and personable, he came into my work nearly everyday just to talk to me. He was the kind of man I had always admired, I had always wanted to marry. My first husband... Ah, he didn't stand a chance against Ibrahim! He was tall, strong and had all these muscles!" She made flexing motions and exagerated noises, drawing a laugh from her audience. "Once I got the chance to see him knock Taka's lights out, oohh, it was amazing!" She chirpped in Japanese, her eyes sparkling as she clapped her hands together at the memory.
It was a lovely moment, transforming into a story he hadn't heard before, and he was 100-percent inveseted. But her attitude shifted. Her eyes fell and her smile faded a bit as she fell back to sit on her heels folded beneath her.
"That's just the thing, though." She continued, looking down at their now clasped hands. "He was so magnificent and heroic, I didn't even paused to think about whether or not we were truly compatible. We were completely infatuated with each other. And so... we rushed into it."
So that's why. Juno thought about it silently, comparing the actions of them both that he'd seen.
"But I don't regret it."
Juno looked up to meet her eyes, his head tilting curiously. "Wh... What do you mean?"
"I -mean-..." She smiled and combed his hair affectionately. "If I had never married you father, I would never have had you! And you are, without a doubt, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me!" She threw her arms out and wrapped them around Juno, squeezing the life out of him while she cooed. "Oooooh! You're just so cute, I love you so so so so so much Juno!!"
The boy squeaked and struggled in her grasp, trying to squirm away from the cage-like grip.
"I don't know -what- I would do without you!" They tussled a bit longer, Mariko holding him close while Juno tried to escape this unwarranted affection. After some time, she finally let go and Juno huffed stubbornly and fixed his glasses. "But, seriously though." She smiled and folded her hands beneath her chin. "I want you to listen to me, okay?"
Juno nodded, still invested in whatever she had to say.
"I know that you have said before that you don't like people, that you aren't interested in girls or boys, or any of that romance stuff, but..." She smiled and pet the top of his head. "You will be, one day. Maybe it will just be one person, and maybe it will be many, but you will care about some one person so so so much one day. Someone who wants to make you be a better person, and who wants to be a better person for you. Whoever they are, they will be very lucky. And you make sure to value them with all your heart, okay? And whenever you feel the longing to throw caution to the wind and spend the rest of your lives together, remember to keep your head about you and think rationally. Don't do anything just because you're feeling lonely. Learn from your dear, old mom, okay? I love you so much, and don't you love me?"
"O-Of course I do..."
"Well, I'm not going to be here forever. So, please, try to learn to love other people too. For my sake. I don't want to look down on you and see you living an unhappy, unfulfilling life! Be true to -you-, Juno."
"W-Why are you being so morbid!?" Juno's eyes widened, suddenly struck with fear. "A-Are you going somewhere? Are you leaving us?! D-Don't leave us!" He threw himself forward and wrapped her in his own tight hug, highly disturbed by this news.
"Oh, darling, no!" Mariko laughed, seeing the flaw in her speech now. "Oh no baby, no no no, I'm not going anywhere." She tried to control her laughter, but couldn't resist feeling bad and letting it fall. "I'm not going anywhere. No, you can count on me. I'll be here a good, long while. Another thirty years, at least! You can count on me for that."
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Age 19:
"You feel something for someone. And it’s real, so you just get it. How could I not wait for you?"
He made it sound so reasonable. Like the most logical thing in the world.
"You have to know, you bring the best there is out of me. I’m motivated to be a better version of me, just by being around you."
Is that what she meant...? Did he even dare to get his hopes up? It was true, without a doubt, that every time they were together, Shiro always made him want to be a better person. To act better, to talk better, to perform better around others. He wanted to be someone that Shiro was proud of, that he could look to and say, 'Yep! That's my boyfriend.' Did he feel the same way?
Juno thought about it for a good long while later that night as he stared at the ceiling looming above them both. "You bring the best there is out of me." Was that true? He didn't really have a frame of reference to tell. All he could do was compare Shiro to the old version of himself he had encountered in highschool. But even then, that version was as perfect as he could ever imagine. Even before he had started to catch feelings, he had always admired the athlete.
Mostly.
Sometimes it had irked him, but that was more to do with the obnoxious company he had kept than any of the things he had personally done himself. Everyone loved Shiro. He had been envious of that. But not really in the way many had thought, more that he just wished he could be so honest and earn respect that easily.
But now... God, he just adored every bit of him. And he dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, this really was that love she had always talked about. And you make sure to value them with all your heart, okay? He couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else, ever.
"I was almost sad I didn’t get to know you earlier. Good thing I kissed you that day, too."
Juno smiled in the darkness, a soft brush of pink spreading over his face. His head turned and he watched Shiro's sleeping form. The slow rise and fall of his chest, the peace he felt just by being there. This wasn't fake. And this surely wasn't something that could be replicated with someone else. No one else had the ability to calm his heart the way that Shiro did.
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Age 22:
"Why are you so GODDAMNED stubborn?!"
There was a strike of fist slamming into the wall, creating an indention in the hopeless plaster and drywall that didn't stand a chance against Ibrahim's fists.
"I thought we had been over this already. He is GONE. Gone, Juno. And he isn't coming back. He's abandonded you."
"No he hasn't!!" Juno's throat burned from the yell that tore out of him. He rarely ever felt the need to raise his voice and immediately knew that this would only cause him more heartache, but he couldn't help it. To sit here and listen to Shiro's name be tarnished like this, to hear these lies repeated over and over again. It killed him. "He's only gone because of you."
"Then why, pray tell me, has he not come for you? We're not hiding you, Juno. It has been three years and still, no call. No visit. If he wanted to see you, he would. Your name is everywhere, I have made you so beyond public that people you don't even know are calling to meet with you. He has every opprotunity."
"N... No. No, that's a lie. You-- You've tricked him, a-and me! It's just a ploy!"
"No, Juno, it's not." Ibrahim sounded so reasonable. Despite the outburst mere moments ago, his voice was calm and collected. "You know why he hasn't contacted you? Because he realizes that I'm right. What you two had, wasn't natural."
Juno struggled to find words, to disprove him and throw it back in his face, but he had no evidence. Maybe they were blocking his number, or denying him access. That was likely, there were stakeouts on every corner of their living quarters, it wasn't impossible to believe. But then again, he had no proof. And even if Shiro had reached out, there was no telling under what circumstances he'd be coming from. He might not have because it was dangerous, or that he knew he wouldn't get through, or... something...
"It wasn't wrong." The words fell almost silently from his mouth. Between the anger and the fear, he wasn't sure what else he could say. "There was nothing wrong with what we were doing. We didn't hurt anyone! And I... I love him."
"So you truly do not see anything wrong then. Nothing wrong with two boys kissing?'
"No. Who cares? Who cares?!? It's my business, not y0urs!"
"Oh, Juno... It's even worse than I had thought."
"Huh..?"
"I didn't want to have to do this to you." Ibrahim heaved a sigh, his eyes hardening with a cold shield. "But I'm afraid you give me no other choice."
"Wh... What are you talking about?"
Ibrahim took the phone from his pocket and silently dialed in a number.
"H-Hey! What are you talking about?? D-Don't just ignore me!!"
"Doctor Côté? It's me. I'm afraid it is as we both feared, and I am in need of your assitance."
"What are you talking about?!" He couldn't stop this fear rising up in him, the sudden drop of his heart as he came to realize slowly that things were about to take a drastic turn. "Who was that? Doctor Côté?? Who is that?"
"Someone who can help you. You aren't right in the head, Juno. You need his help."
"I... I don't want it. I don't... I..."
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Age 23:
Maybe what he had felt back then wasn't really love. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was messed up in the head. Maybe she had just been wrong. Maybe the pain just wasn't worth it all... Maybe, even now, after everything, it was just time to give up.
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Age 24:
“The hotel has several bars,” he said, meeting Juno’s eye. “Meet me at the smallest, after your presentation. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Was that a dream...? Had he imagined it? It still didn't make sense. They had said he was gone, he had left and abandonded him and all hope of ever seeing him again. They had told him Shiro had become disgusted with their actions and how they had behaved. So... Why...? If that were the case, wouldn't he have turned away and frowned, scoffing at Juno as if he were nothing more than left over mud at the bottom of his shoe?
But... He didn't. Shiro met his gaze. He spoke to him, even touched his arm to stop him from leaving. He... didn't look disgusted. He looked surprised, maybe even hopeful? It was hard to tell, his face was similar to stone now. But even now, after the last two years of pure torture he had been through, all the series of images and the voices and the pain -- he shouldn't have wanted to go. He should have just shook it off and moved on. That's what they had said would happen. So why. Why was he feeling hopeful...?
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“These last few years, tell me how they have been for you.”
Was that... care? Concern? Despite the odds, he had come out as he was told and met with Shiro, and what he met there was not at all what he had expected. Shiro had changed, but he also hadn't at the same time. His mannerisms and expressions had shifted, his word count was fewer, but Juno could still see the care in his heart. The expressions came more carefully and he could see that he was cherry-picking his words, but the warmth was still easy to feel.
This was not at all what he had been told would happen. Shouldn't he be yelling by now? Growing angry with him, pointing fingers and throwing accusations? Or, at the very least, blaming him for feeling the way they had all those years ago? It was his fault, after all. ... Wasn't it?
The facade was fading. Two and a half years of lies starting to crumble.
Of course they were lying. What else could he have possibly expected? They hadn't even so much as seen Shiro over the years, much less spoken to him. Those words they had said were of their own making, not actually his. God. How could he have been so naive as to actually believe them all?
Two years ago he had decided to plunge his heart into an icy depth of cold captivity. A solid wall six feet thick, held by lock and key that no one had any hope of pentrating. No one was allowed in, not again. No one would put him through that hellscape ever, ever again.
But now, he had lost the key.
He had to be careful now. If he didn't, another visit to Dr. Côté was inevitable.
"You... You shouldn’t be here. It’s too dangerous." The words fell from his mouth, his mind flashing to the consequences of the things Shiro would surely be admitted to if he didn't run now.
"Regardless of what the future holds, try and forgive yourself for the past. I don’t blame you for any of it. I never have."
So that's where the key went.
Be true to -you-, Juno.
This was... so dangerous...
... He wanted to cave again.
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08/25/2020 01:51 PM
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Maybe... things wouldn't be so bad.
--Warnings for language and emotions, oops --
“JUNO!”
The namesake knew the meaning behind that tone. He looked up and stared at the door, feeling a drop in his stomach immediately. Ever since his mother had been admitted full time, things had really changed...
His eyes swept down to the door handle, still locked, in a vain attempt to keep some portion of privacy to himself. Conflicted, Juno quietly considered the consequences of not answering, pretending he couldn’t hear and hunkering down into bed and bot, adjusting her insides and ignoring his problems as if they didn’t exist.
But the turn of the door handle and the wooden frame opening took up all conscious thoughts. It wasn’t a struggle to get inside, and yet there he was, laying in his bed while the brute of a man stood filling his entire door frame.
It was all he could do, stare up at the man and fight the thousands of questions rushing through his mind.
“How many times do I have to call your name before you answer?”
Juno could only recall the one call of his name, but he let that go, looking between his precious bot and the door at a loss for words. The logic behind such an appearance seemed completely invalid, false. The man waited, clearly expecting an answer, but when none came he became frustrated.
“I just called the school. I thought I told you to join one of the sports clubs.”
“You called the school?” Juno stared up at him. “Wha-Why?!”
“Because you aren’t listening to me, Juno!” Ibrahim was a very large, very intimidating man. He was broad, muscular and stood at easily 6’5” at the very least. Straight blonde hair was cropped short and never ever looked out of place. Juno, on the other hand, was slight, skinny and couldn’t have been more than 5’5” in his freshman year with wild, black locks that were completely untameable. Save for their shared eye shape, there was nothing these two had in common — neither physically nor mentally.
Juno didn’t answer, fidgeting uncomfortably in his place and debating as to how to diffuse the situation. Usually his mother would sense the tension, walk up behind him and say ‘Ibrahim, mon amour, please, let the boy be. He is trying his hardest.’
...But she wasn’t here.
“We agreed that you would join one of the sports groups. We had a deal.”
“We? Wh-When did I ever say that—.”
“We had a deal!” The words were spat at him with a great force that startled Juno and made his words leap back into his throat. “You will go to the school tomorrow and you will join a team or there will be consequences.”
Juno opened his mouth to speak, sitting up and looking ready to pounce. But he didn’t get the chance to speak.
“You will!” His large fist slammed against the doorframe accompanied by the booming bass voice, startling Juno enough to jump in place. “God f***ing help me I’m not going to raise some deadbeat, faggot of a son who wants to waste his life rotting behind computers. Do you hear me?”
Before any answer could be choked out, Ibrahim had reached inside and snatched the bot right out of Juno’s trembling hands.
“Wh-What are you...? D-Dad, no!! Stop please, give it back.”
“No more. No f***ing more of this sh*t, do you hear me?” The hand not holding his bot reached down to hoist him up by the front of his shirt until he was brought to his knees. Juno fought against it, but resisted the urge to hit him. “It’s useless. Garbage. And I’m gonna show you how little it means.”
The teen was tossed back down on the bed and Ibrahim turned to storm into the living room.
“Dad...?” Juno heard his voice, but it sounded distant in his own head. Panic ran through him, and though he wasn’t sure why, he knew right away that he had to run after him. “Dad? Wh... What are you doing?” He took to his feet and ran after him, stumbling a little with his socks against the polished wooden floor that made him trip. “Dad?!”
“You’ll learn to do what I tell you to do.” Juno reached the back of the couch, holding tightly to it for support. Ibrahim stood in front of the fireplace, bot in hand, and Juno yelled out immediately. He tripped over himself, reaching out and trying to jump over the couch and stop the motion, but it was too late.
She had already been swallowed up by the flames.
He didn’t know what to do. His knees buckled and he fell face-to-face with the fire, he could see it, his years worth of work gone. Destroyed. Melting to nothing. He couldn’t even manage a whimper of noise, but he could feel everything inside of him collapse. It was as if something broke, his heart plunged into a bucket of ice water as the heat of the flames licked at his face.
“I’m sorry it had to come to this Juno.” The teen could tell immediately by his tone that he wasn’t sorry at all, not in the slightest. “But as long as you are in my house you will do as I tell you. No more games. No more playing. This is the real world. You will go to your classes, you will join either baseball or soccer, and you will go out with that Maria from class 1-A. You will do these things and maybe, -maybe- we can see about getting you an old car for you to tinker back to life.”
Juno heard him turn and his footsteps walk away. In the kitchen, he heard her. -Her.- “Ibrahim, darling!~” Her bubbly voice cut through the air, reflecting her youth that was no more than five years Juno’s senior. “That was amazing. You are so powerful and strong!~”
Juno’s eyes stayed on the flames, watching the outsides melt away to show the guts of the little bot. Instincts kicked in and, without much thought, he reached into the flames and snatched it. The fire caught the cuff of his sleeve and Juno moved quickly, waving his arm to stifle the flames before they could burn him too badly.
The next moment he took to his feet and ran as fast as he could back to his room. The guts of his bot were tossed on the bed and Juno slammed the door, turning the lock and testing the grip only to find out that somehow Ibrahim had disabled its functions.
Juno couldn’t see straight. Never, in all his life had he been so furious, so livid. He thought for a moment that he might pass out from the downright fury that was swallowing him whole. In his adrenaline, he found his book shelf and pushed it, grating loudly against the floorboards, until it came to a stop in front of the doorframe.
Roused by the disturbance, Juno could hear his father running his way, hear his fists trying to open the door and the yelling of his name, but it was distant, minuscule in his ears. In front of the bookshelf went the desk, and in front of the desk went the bed, and in front of the bed went Juno — crouched and ready to brace against the force. Even Ibrahim, in all his height and muscles, couldn’t push past that. He heard the man consider circling outside and breaking through his window, but stopped after -she- asked what the neighbors would think if they saw.
Freshed by his adrenaline, Juno could feel the anger ebbing away, but remaining ever present in his mind as he sat on the bed and pried the innards of the guts apart. Most of it was ruined. Melted together and destroyed by the flames, except for that. That tiny little circuit board, the beating heart of what had once been his beautiful robot.
She might have been down, beaten up and scorched by the flames, but she wasn’t dead. Not yet.
Hayami still clung to the tiny breadth of her life.
-- End dramatic scene --
1.
Everyone was talking about the game. Apparently it had gone well, if Sarah was anything to go by, but Juno paid little attention to his peers. He never really had in the first place, but now he felt especialy inclined to shut them out as he compared fliers from the baseball and soccer clubs in his hands. It seemed this whole clubs nonsense was really unavoidable.
Squeezing past the seniors who felt entitled enough to take up the whole doorway, Juno resisted the urge to huff irritably as he sat at his desk and kept his gaze lowered. He didn't even need to look to know who it was he had squeezed past. George, and the infamous team captain Shiro.
Still, he wasn't as bad as George. George was annoying, loud and, naturally, liked to mock those he didn't know. Shiro hadn't ever bullied anyone as far as Juno could tell, but he did choose to let the man stay in his company, sooo... How good could he be?
His mind was focused on the papers on his desk when he heard the footsteps getting colser, instinctively hunkering down further in an attempt to hide his face. He had so much work to do, he didn't want to socialize. But this Shiro guy seemed bent on making eye contact.
Reluctantly, and very awkwardly, Juno peered over the pieces of paper in his hands and blinked at the senior curiously. Since when did the senior jocks care about what he wanted...?
He blinked again, lowering the papers ever so slightly to see the guy better. He hadn't ever bothered to take a moment and get a look at the guy, but now that he was here, Juno could clearly see that he had really good bonestructure. And, his body language seemed almost... friendly?
Lips parted with a soft intake of breath when he'd finally come up with a reasonable response, but the words would retreat back after something flew through the air and smacked him in the face. It startled him, to look down and see that an eraser had collided with his forehead, so he said nothing and fell otherwise comletely silent, not even bothering to look back up to Shiro again. There was nothing he could say anyway. All he wanted was to go away, to be left alone. But he was rarely ever that lucky anymore.
3. The trip. Juno was quietly dreading the trip, just knowing that it meant he'd have to socialize and be active with his classmates at some point. But on the first day, he took every single opprotunity to isolate himself. The sports club had fallen through since his applications came in so late, which had put his dad in an extremely bitter mood.
One good thing about the trip was he could finally get away from his dad and that little floozy clinging onto his arm. It made him so mad to see her face. Any time he woke up and saw her in the kitchen, he always ended up having a bad day. And today was no excpetion.
Fortuneately, he was gone from that for a while, free to do whatever he wanted -- until someone inevitably broke the rules and they were paired into a 'buddy system.' For now, he enjoyed the peaceful bliss of the gameroom as he read his book of ancient Chinese lore and let his mind rest at ease.
That peace did not last long. The door burst open and in came some seniors, which made Juno instinctively groan and consider running off. Not all the seniors were bad, but he really just wasn't in the mood to deal with George and his stupid 'wit.' Juno began to close his book, but felt himself stop.
Shiro. Sure, the seniors were jerks, but this guy... Anytime he was around, things seemed more tame. Maybe it was just because the guy was so big and charismatic that no one wanted to mess with him or dampen the mood, but things always ran just a little more smoothly when he came around.
So, in the next moment, Juno leaned back into his spot and stayed there. It was surprisingly easy to block them out, although he was now acutely aware of their presence from his ever-present anxiety, but he let it pass. A good passage came up and he was captivated, momentarily losing himself in the world of literature.
The slight ding beside his head caught his attention, but Juno was determined to finish what he was reading before letting himself be distracted by technology again. His reach was slow, but the passage eventually came to an end and he snatched the phone and turned over onto his side, examining the photo that had been sent to the group chat.
An odd feeling invaded his thoughts, though he couldn't quite place what it was... His eyes slid up from the phone and he looked towards the game table for a moment, analyzing the surroundings. For a single, foolish moment, Juno thought that maybe the text was for him -- maybe Shiro had sent it when he saw Juno sitting down alone but was too shy to say anything himself. The thought brought warmth to him and he flopped back over on his back, considering accepting the offer, but his hope was dashed when he heard the voices of them. The fangirls who swooned at the vaguest request from one of the star athletes.
Juno heard them coming and all those positive thougths were shoved from his mind. What was he thinking? Of course the message wasn't meant for him. When someone had the choice between hot, impressionable fangirls and one overly-cynical, awkward teenage boy, who would possibly take the latter?
Despite getting the feeling from his own delusions, Juno felt a little hurt. Maybe he'd just read too much into it.
"Juno, move! If you aren't going to socialize make room for the ones who are!"
He felt the pillow pulled out from underneath his head, falling to the couch with a vague thunk as one of the preps pulled it from him and shooed him out and away.
"Alright, alright! Jeez..." He huffed and left the gameroom, feeling rather ridiculous for thinking the team captain had even the slightest idea who he was. But nevermind that, there were plenty of other places to curl up and hide.
4. Assembly. What had it been about? If he was asked, Juno most certainly couldn't give an answer. His mind was preoccupied with other pieces of information, namely the surprising amount of success he had had with patching together the scraps of Hayami. He hadn't slept in days, his mind too preoccupied with worrying thoughts to even care or notice the people leaving around him.
His notebook was popped open, pen hovering meaninglessly over the page. If I skip chemistry, I can make enough time to finish testing her cicuit board and test-run her by the end of the night. I can stay at home for a bit, but I'll need to be out by eight before he gets back or else he'll lose it again... Maybe it really would be best if I just left like she said. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like he'd come looking for me.
His thoughts came to be intererrupted, Juno jumping as he heard the quiet echo of the strong voice in the empty room. He turned to face the guy, blinking with surprise and looking a bit taken aback. What did he say? Oh, right. Assembly.
His mind buffered for a moment while he stared up at the guy again. Here he was, looking out for him. Again. This wasn't the first time Shiro had reached out and gotten Juno out of trouble, and for some reason Juno felt like it wouldn't be the last.
He closed his notebook and made quick work of springing up to his feet. "Sorry, sorry..." He muttered, feeling somehow endebted to him. How was he supposed to thank someone he'd barely spoken to for keeping his space-cadet mind reeled back in?
He wanted to say something, but had no idea how to even begin. And before he could think of something, just like that, Shiro had gone.
....
What a weird guy. What is he hoping to gain by looking out for me? He must need something. He probably wants me to do his homework for him, or get him out of some class event. Why else would a senior possibly have any interest in a freshman? And why me? I'm not anything special. He probably just wants something. I should keep my distance in case things get out of hand, I don't want to owe him anything. I should just keep out of his way...
Still, his eyes were nice. Brown, welcoming... He almost seemed sincere when he spoke.
Maybe the seniors aren't all so bad.
5. Of course Juno heard him, how could he not? The guys voice carried even when he didn't mean for it to, so something as pointed as that wasn't likely to go under the radar, and there was no one else in the halls that George could be talking about.
On a normal occasion a phrase like that might have gotten under his skin, but not today. He didn't care today. There was way too much on his mind for him to give two sh*ts about what some future 'highschool has-been' said about his outfit. Today was a big day, how could he not go all out? It wasn't dressing up for career day like most might assume, but rather an outfit for a real life job interview. Someone was interested in his mechanical skills, and he sure as hell was going to skip last hour to go. And then after that he was going to try and see about apartments he could rent out -- if there even was anyone who would rent to a teenager still in highschool.
No matter, he still had to try. Living in that household was becoming unbareable.
His head was down as he passed by and looked to be blocking the athletes out, but his curiosity got the better of him and he tuned in to their conversation. What he heard made Juno's heart soften somewhat. He had been avoiding this athlete for the past couple of weeks, worried this was all just an elaborate prank set up so he would let down his guard and let Shiro get close to him. Then it would all go south and Shiro would end up saying something like, "HA! You f***ing nerd, who would want to talk to you?!"
He still believed that, to an extent, but he couldn't help but smile a little after he passed them. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad...
Even know, that insecurity still played with his head. As they sat there on Shiro's couch, the athlete's head resting on Juno's lap while his fingers combed carefully through those curly locks, Juno still half expected Shiro to sit up staight and yell "HA! Got you, nerd!!" and then run away. Run away and just leave him there, picking up the pieces of a relationship he was foolish enough to actually believe.
But here he was, in a relationship that just continued to keep going. Most of the time he believed what Shiro said, but sometimes... He had his doubts. He couldn't help it. It was so engrained in his mind that he couldn't help but believe the voices in his head, that it was all just some long, cruel joke designed to mock and humiliate him.
"I love you, Junebug."
Four little words, their impact likely never known. For it was then, in that moment that Juno believed it. It was real. Maybe in the next few moments he'd fall out of that belief, but right now all he wanted was to spend every waking moment with Shiro. Shiro, who had always looked out for him with his little acts of kindness. Shiro, who stopped others from mocking him and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. Shiro, who, despite all odds, chose to stick with a shy, awkward loser instead of the cascade of skirts and shirts that were thrown off the moment he walked in to any room.
Juno smiled, the type of smile that only Shiro could pull from him.
"I love you too, Shiro."
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