CHAPTER 1: FIGHT FOR WHAT’S RIGHT
BANG and JAM are standing in Jam’s restaurant, JAM still upset at BANG having barged through a wall of her restaurant
BANG: Anyhow, you are a human as well… how did you get into Makai?
JAM: (turning at BANG, upset tone as she is cleaning up, doesn’t look at Bang’s half naked bod) How did /you/ get into Makai into the first place?
BANG: (gives a big grin, sounding completely confident of himself) I did NOT trip down the stairs in real life and woke up like this!
JAM: Uh uh… And why you still here?
BANG: Oh right… I got this (pulls a stone from… somewhere on his back) Look at it
JAM backs away in shock at the sight, terrified by the ki emitted by the stone, immediately recognizing it
JAM: A … Demon’s Crest? (begins panicking)
BANG: Indeed. I! BANG SHISHIGAMI, Shinobi who fights for Justice and Love, have an amazing plan. I plan to take all the six Demon’s Crest and use them to return home! I shall leave behind this land and return to my beloved Kagutsuchi to save EVERYONE! AHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, tell me, milady… uh..
JAM: Ayaa, I Kuradoberi Jam, Mr. Shishigami.
BANG: AHAHAHAH! VERY WELL, MISS JAM! LET US WORK tOGETHER FOR GREAT JUSTICE AND USE THE DEMON’S CRESTS TO CREATE A PORTAL BACK HOME
JAM: … do the Crest even create portals?
BANG doesn’t know
BANG: … I am sure they do. Unlimited power and stuff! EVerything is possible as long as we believe in them. Now, the issue is, the assassin who is stalking me?
THE RAVAGERS’ MOTHERSHIP - The Santa Demonica
MILEENA walks down the halls, getting into the top floor, where MORRIGAN, in her new ‘Ravager’ outfit, is relaxing
MILEENA: I did as you requested, succubus, now it is time you uphold your part of the bargain
MORRIGAN: Oh… upheld it… uphold it you did… *giggles* part of the payment is still latched on your leg ♥ !
MILEENA looks down and notices a succubus is indeed still wrapping her arm around her calf,
MILEENA: Return to the bed!! (she quickly shakes the succubus off, walks limping a little) I took care of your entire crew… now… you tell me where is the Water Crest
MORRIGAN: Oh, how rude, to the one who saved you from Jedah, no less! I thought you’d comment on them. I boast my crewmates to be the best lovers in all of Makai
MILEENA: Seven out of ten! Edenians are better (and I am half Edenian). Now tell me where is the Crest
MORRIGAN: (sighs) Ugh, fine. (She opens a window, points at the restaurant) The one who took the Water Crest is down there. See that weird looking restaurant? He is down there. Now go and make daddy Kahn proud and remember, in exchange for my magnanimous help you, you let me have an audience with your fa-
While MORRIGAN is talking, MILEENA jumps out of the window
MILEENA: Death to everyooone!!
MORRIGAN: … I like that girl ♥ A shame I am using her to backstab both her and her daddy ♥
MILEENA crashes through the restaurant’s ceiling, right next to the hole BANG made
JAM: Oh come on!
MILEENA: Who has the Demon’s Crest?
BANG: … me?
MILEENA: Good! You stole it from Demon Lord Jedah… I was supposed to steal it from Demon Lord Jedah! How did you even get it? I was as fast as possible to get through his death trap course, but he still got me.
BANG: (gives a flashing grin) Well, when I was cornered, I used the secret technique of the Ninja School of Kagutsuchi the FUH-RIN-KA-ZAN! (JAM covers her ears) and moved with such magnificent and burning passion and such speed that my clothes were torn asunder
JAM: Ayaa! Too much information
BANG: And thus I got the Demon Crest! This is the power of mankind!
MILEENA: Oh … cool! Now hand me over the Water Crest… OR I RIP OFF YOUR EYES AND PUT THEM INSTEAD OR YOUR NIPPLES!!
JAM puts herself between MILEENA
JAM: No no
MILEENA: The Pacifistic approach is to take you, little chinese girl and shove you up inside the big burly man
JAM: .... why?
MILEENA: I don’t like humans. A human took my sister away from me.
JAM: Isn’t that a bit too cruel?
MILEENA: And humans keeps spurring me because of my perceived ugliness
BANG: But this is a bit exaggerated and you are honestly, ma’am pretty beautiful, if I may so
MILEENA takes off her mask.
BANG: *distressed gasp*
MILEENA (puts mask back on) and it was a human who decided I should have gotten this feral form, thus condemning me to this life of ugliness and insanity
JAM: But … You not have people who love you? Like your papa?
MILEENA: He was killed by a human!! It’s why we are in hell!
BANG: Amazing, truly you have reasons to hate humans
MILEENA: AND REMEMBERING ALL OF THIS MADE ME MAD!
JAM: it cannot get any worse
BANG: Unless Bounty hunters catch us up!
An explosion from the wall. JAM lets out a frustrated scream. From the giant cloud of dust, a small minute figure, barely two feet of height, shows up
IMPMON: Mileena Kahn, you are under arrest for being the daughter of Shao Kahn, and having broken in Jedah’s palace and stealing the Water Crest!
MILEENA: D’awwww, cute little kitty! I did not steal it, it was that dumbass (points at BANG)
BANG: I am that dumbass!... wait what?
IMPMON: First of all, I am a Digimon. Secondly, fine, I am arresting you both. You are the most wanted in Jedha’s domain, besides, of course, STAN LEE, always wanted for a cameo in the next MARVEL movie!
MILEENA moves close to him and literally looks down on him
MILEENA: Pfft… Hahaha… Listen… little Imp… you are barely the height of my knee… how do you think you can arrest me, Princess of Outworld?
IMPMON: First of all… I am not powerless (Conjures multiple fireballs)
MILEENA looks impressed and is about to step on him but she notices a bright light in the distance. She jumps away as a giant arrow of light hits the restaurant, destroying a part of the Floor. JAM puts her hand on her hair, exasperated.
IMPMON; Not to say, who says I came alone. Say hello to my partner. Partner, say hello!
Succubaby is sitting a few feets apart, waves at everyone
LILITH: I am Lilith!
JAM, MILEENA and BANG: Awwww!
IMPMON; And I am here to arrest you all!
JAM: But I innocent!
IMPMON: Eeeh, you will be arrested for being… accomplice!
LILITH: I am LILITH!
LILITH begins to shoot more energy arrows while rushing to join the fray.
BANG; But we can all be frieeeeeends!
MILEENA: DEATH TO FRIENDSHIP
JAM looks around. Holes in the ceiling, holes in the walls, holes on the floor: everything she loves and has left is being destroyed by these four people showing up.
Already she had been living for an entire year in this foreign kingdom at war, without her friends, with trouble to cook ingredients that refuse to die or stay dead, and her piggy bang pretty light...
BACKGROUND MUSIC - BABEL NOISE (Vocals)
JAM: AYAAAAAAA! This stop now! I throw Demon Crest far away from my restaurant. I sending you all tab for damage later!
Jam makes a high kick, its shockwave alone sending MILEENA, IMPMON, BANG and LILITH out of the restaurant, making Another Hole. LILITH catches IMPMON in mid air
MILEENA: That’s it! I AM KILLING EVERYONE
IMPMON: Lilith, plan B!
LILITH: I AM LILITH!
BANG: You all force me to fight in self defense now!
Four way epic brawl ensues. MILEENA jumps on BANG’s face and JAM engages her hand to hand combat
MILEENA: Bad choice, pumpkin, my sai are made to break swords, your little hands can do nothing against them
JAM: First rule of Shotokan Karate (grabs Sais) Assume your opponent has swords for hands harder than steel! (throws Mileena away)
LILITH makes a sliding attack, tripping JAM, but she is intercepted and picked up by BANG
BANG: So… why is a little child like you acting like a bounty hunter? Do you want to become my apprentice? You get to wear a red loincloth
LILITH: I am Lilith ♥
IMPMON: (while running away from Mileena trying to eat him and setting up multiple fireballs) LILITH NO! Don’t get distracted… and you all… BOMB VOYAGE! AHAHA! (sets up every fireball to make a loud explosion)
FROM AFAR THE MOUNTAIN
NUI notices the large mushroom shaped explosion
NUI: Squad, we have a 34-67-12. Yes, a four-way deathmatch between a Chinese, a Rookie level Digimon with a Succubaby, an Outworldian magical bio-weapon and a shaved bear! I need reinforcements
OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT
As the cloud of dust dissipates, BANG is the first coming out but pulling out his nail he uses it to guard himself against JAM’s incoming fist.
JAM backs away
JAM: (places hands together bows as a sign of respect) Heaven blessed with with powerful hands, steel breaks before them, yet your weapon intact. Very strong weapon, Mr. Sushi-gami.
BANG: Thanks, Miss Jam (wait, Sushi?). It was my master’s memento
JAM: Your master great and skilled man, unlike you, brutish pervert! Put clothes on before entering a public place before a maiden!
IMPMON pops up behind a rock
IMPMON: Wait a second, why are we fighting each other if it’s only the Big Guy who has the Heaven’s Crest?
JAM: …*gasps* He right!
MILEENA and LILITH show up of nowhere, cracking their knuckles behind BANG
BANG (scared): ….Uh oh
MILEENA: Let’s gang up on him!
LILITH: I AM LILITH!
IMPMON, JAM, LILITH and MILEENA (running against BANG): AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
BANG: (puts hand over his face) AAAAAARGH!
IMPMON, JAM, LILITH and MILEENA beats beating the ever living sh*t out of BANG: JAM steps on his face, MILEENA is strangling him with her tights, LILITH is straddling him while punching his chest and IMPMON is kicking him in the groin.
BANG is crying in pain, accidentally drops the Crest.
MILEENA notices it and steals it. Just after she eats it to hide it, she feels someone cuffing her, and
NUI: You are under arrest!
MILEENA: Pfft, you are putting /me/ under arrest with what army.
MILEENA notices another NIU show up… And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another…
All the NUIs: This army! We are the Fashion Police of Makai!
NUI: We are all arresting you with the following accuses. (points at MILEENA) Theft and horrible hairdo (points at IMPMON) Unlicensed bounty hunting! (points at BANG) Being a bear
NUI: (points at JAM) Being the bear’s accomplice
LILITH holds her arms out
LILITH (sad): I am Lilith :(
IMPMON: She wants to be arrested as well because she doesn’t like being left out
NUI: Aaah, comradery! A beautiful reason to arrest someone… ooh what the hell, I am going overboard with Police Brutality today, I am arresting even the restaurant!
JAM: … Nooo.. wait, how do you arrest it?
POTEMKIN suddenly shows up and with a single hand uproots and lifts Jam’s restaurant over his shoulder
JAM: (feeling betrayed) P-pumpkin man…
POTEMKIN: (whispers) Shhh… I am on a secret mission for the Zepp Empire
ABOVE THE CLOUDS, IN THE RAVAGERS’ MOTHERSHIP - The Santa Demonica
MORRIGAN looks down in pleasure of what the events that transpired, she suggestively plays with her own whip
MORRIGAN: Oooh my, this went even better than I had planned… yes, indeed… who knows the Rettenjou was here in Makai… Well, this is fine… but I need to set up in motion the rest of my plan. Catherine, let’s go to the Outworld. Once Shao Kahn will find out his beloved daughter got arrested in Jedah’s domain and has the Water Crest… it’s going to be such a wonderful war. HAHAHA! Shao Kahn’s outworld against Jedah’s forces… and I … will get both of their crests
In the background, CATHERINE is working on the ship’s console, but looks confused as she sets the coordinates
CATHERINE: Mistress Morrigan?
MORRIGAN (turns at her second in command): Hmm?
CATHERINE: … Outworld is burning to the ground
MORRIGAN rushes at the console
MORRIGAN: This… this is not what was expected… check the energy reading… who could this be? Lilithmon? No, This isn’t her style... Malebolgia? He had different plans to pick the Earth Crest, from what I heard. Astaroth? But I haven’t heard much of him… ever since the beginning of the Hunt for the Demon Crests… What kind of army could have been?
CATHERINE: (Analyzes the energy reading) It was only a single person maybe two, but one, THIS one rivals in intensity a demon lord, but it’s not a demon…
MORRIGAN: (flashes a smirk) Interesting… there is a new player then…
STREET FIGHTER IV ARENA - ONI’S THEME
Everything is burning. Screams and explosions can be heard in the background. A bleeding SHAO KAHN is tossed around by an unknown figure towering over him. The corpses of Goro and Mantaro are over the arena
????: Where are the Elder Gods, Kahn? Here they are, Khan.
The mysterious figure slowly walks towards Khan and picks him up, its glowing eyes staring straight at the broken Emperor
????: The rules of Mortal Kombat protect you no longer
A clawed hand grabs SHAO KAHN’s throat and lifts him, the free hand clenched into a fist and glowing a dark energy, begins punching the battered fo violently until his mask is destroyed, a blue gem appears, hastily snatched by the mysterious figure
SHAO KAHN is tossed away like a bag of trash.
???: Masquerade as dragons? Big words for a toothless worm
In a last surge of strength, SHAO KAHN summons his hammer and tosses it at the shadowy figure, which effortlessly deflects it. SHAO KAHN seeks to summon again, but he is too weak. The figure steps on Khan, its clawed foot digging in his stomach.
????: My venom spread. It’s the end of all things
Mysterious figure puts the Crest of Heaven in its chest. Green flames surround him.
KINTARO rushes against the unknown monster
Before he can even reach him, a minute figure jumps on KINTARO’s shoulder and with quick and brutal movements, breaks his neck so hard she severs his head
????: You kept me waiting, Juri. Was there anything else of my interest?
JURI bows down, a mischievous grin on her face
JURI: No other crest. I was looking for Mileena, Great God of War. But … she wasn’t there (kicks up in the air with blood soaked shoes) So I took it out on… anything else I could find. Haha.
????: Useless wretch
The mysterious monster feels KAHN’s hand on his calf. He begins to stomp on him. Each stomp is accompanied by the sickening crunch of broken bones
?????: Makai… stupid land. Ages wasted in futile defiance against the Gods. Against ME! All your hatred did nothing but fuel me.